I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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