Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
