Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
