i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
