I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
