he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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