STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
