I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
