I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
