god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
