you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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