But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Houston, we have a squirter
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
