About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
