actually, I'm a sock model
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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