HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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