Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
