I'm drive I can fine osifer
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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