All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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