did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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