Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you traded sex for a burrito?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
