It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
