To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize