No more Irish car bombs ever.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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