My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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