she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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