so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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