Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
