Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
