i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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