White coat. Heels.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
