dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize