Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
