Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
