Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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