i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So vagazzling was a success
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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