Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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