JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Farmville is her only friend.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
