My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
zippers are such a cool invention
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
