That's when you crack a 10am beer
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
