i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
