Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
