$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
