yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
