yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
