My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so let's talk penis.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
