you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
