Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
