I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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