I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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