So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I love having hate sex.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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