sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
