All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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