Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
