Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
