had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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