just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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