Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
