maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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