What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
