So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
