Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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