I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
