I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
